


Book Lovers

by PhasicDreamer



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Gen, M/M, Multi, gender neutral reader, nothing but fluff, pure fluff, secretly submissive Karkat is my shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-20
Updated: 2016-05-20
Packaged: 2018-06-09 02:19:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,759
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6885229
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PhasicDreamer/pseuds/PhasicDreamer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Karkat shares his most prized reading material. Sadly, not everyone can appreciate such a literary masterpiece.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Book Lovers

“And just what the fuck am I looking at here?” you demand, scrutinizing the cover of the book the short troll just handed you.

“That, you ignorant ass, is the greatest Alternian fiction ever written,” Karkat explains, arms crossed in a way that said he knew more on the subject than you.

“It also happens to be the last known copy to exist. It went against all of troll tradition and challenged the hemospectrum itself, so of course all other copies were destroyed and the author was culled, I was lucky I managed to hide this one. In other words, you should be fucking grateful I'm even letting you lay your filthy flesh mitts on it,” he says with a growl, keeping an eagle like vigilance on how you handled the priceless book.

“If it's so precious why are you even letting me read it?” you question, skimming through the three thousand some odd pages with a touch of horror.

Karkat clears his throat, tugging at his sweater collar in a vain attempt to hide the faded candy red blush on his freckled cheeks, “Kanaya told me you were complaining about not having anything to read so I thought I'd do you the honor of bestowing upon you one of my favorite pieces.”

He glares at you, blush still prominent, “Some fucking gratitude would be nice.”

You scrunch your nose, holding the romance novel at arm’s reach, “I really appreciate the gesture and all, gotta say it's very uncharacteristic of you, but are you sure it's any good?”

Karkat looks physically assaulted, even going as far as staggering back as if you had pushed him.

“Any good? ANY GOOD?! Did you not fucking hear me when I said this was THE GREATEST ALTERNIAN FICTION EVER WRITTEN? GOG HOW ARE YOU SO FUCKING DENSE?! FUCK, THAT'S LIKE ASKING IF 'THE NOTEBOOK' IS ANY GOOD!” he screeches, face flushed an angry scarlet and you think you may have lost hearing in your right ear.

And yet you can't help asking, “Is 'The Notebook' any good?”

Karkat screams towards the heavens as if to share his frustration with the gods, ironic really seeing how you are one, tugging roughly at his already disheveled ebony locks.

You giggle, paping his cheek to calm him down, “Sorry, sorry, I couldn't help it. I was only asking because, I mean, just look at this cover!”

Thrusting the book out to him, as if he hadn't already read it a million times over, you gesture to the erotic troll gang bang going on.

Seriously, this shit was not meant for innocent eyes.

Two guys were very thoroughly filling each other up in the corner, three females were getting hot and heavy in the center, and you didn't even want to acknowledge what one girl was doing to another dude's horn at the bottom.

Karkat sighs, pushing the novel down so he had a clear view to glare at you, “Isn't there a shitty human saying about 'not judging a book by its cover'? Just read the fucking book, I promise that some part of that rotten thinkpan of yours will find enjoyment from it.”

You toss your head back and groan, finally admitting defeat, “Oh my fucking- fine! If it'll get you off my back I'll read your weird troll smut, but you can't promise I'll like it.”

The Cancer raises a challenging brow, “And why the fuck is that?”

You shrug, “Because you don't know if I will or not.”

“And what if I do?” Karkat places his hands on his hips, trying and failing to make himself look intimidating.

You match his glare with a smirk, “Then I'd call bullshit.”

He growls and juts a finger into your chest, “You know what, fuck you we're doing this shit. I promise by the time you finish reading it you'll be so fucking red for the story and its characters you'll immediately drop those shitty pajamas to fill buckets with it.”

“First of all, don't you dare dis the pjs, I literally fucking died for these. Secondly, the gross troll innuendos were unneeded and unappreciated. And lastly, what happens if, by some unfortunate cosmic accident, I don't end up falling hopelessly in love with it?” you knock his hand away, tucking the piece of fiction under one arm to place the other hand on your hip in a defiant stance.

Karkat straightens up, smirking like there was no possible way for him to be wrong, “If, by some impossible grub-shitting circumstance, you don't instantly want to join that cluster fuck on the cover then I'll give you whatever your defective thought processor wants. But since that won't be happening you aren't getting hoof-beast shit from me.”

A figurative light bulb clicks on above your head, your lips curling mischievously. Hugging the book close to your chest you bend down to his eye level, drawing uncomfortably close and he takes a step back, his face a shade darker.

“And what if I said,” you ponder aloud, your words dripping together in a way that causes the troll to gulp, “I wanted a kiss?”

Karkat immediately breaks out into a stutter, stumbling to put more distance between the two of you, his face so hot you thought he'd start smoking any second.

“W-WHY THE F-FUCK WOULD YOU EVEN WANT THAT?!” he fumbles over his words, yanking desperately at his sweater to cover his face.

It never ceases to amaze you how he doesn't lose his voice every other time he opens his mouth. Though a part of you wouldn't mind if that were the case, but what a shame it would be not to hear those gorgeous vocal cords.

You lift a single shoulder nonchalantly, as if you hadn't just low key admitted to having a crush on the troll, “I'd be lying if I said I haven't thought about kissing those adorable lips, even once. My entire planet and everyone I ever knew is dead, you can't exactly blame me for wanting to live a little.”

You've seem to have broken him because he doesn't answer for several long moments, just stares at you with wide eyes and an unhinged jaw.

Snapping your fingers in his face to bring him back to the plain of reality he blinks rapidly, looking from your hand to you and then slapping it away with a grimace.

He coughs into his fist, eyes closed and nose in the air as he pulls down the hem of his sweater as if to remove nonexistent wrinkles, “I-I guess, when you fucking g-guilt trip me like that, I can't exactly say no. Really fucking underhanded of you I might add, never thought you'd have it in you to stoop so low. And here I thought only Strider could reach that level of nook-munching assitry.

Congratu-fucking-lations, you continue to astound me to this day! You deserve the biggest, most obnoxious, fucking trophy as a reward for going far beyond any previously perceived spectrum of douche, going where no man or troll dares to because no one in all of existence is nearly as big a bulge-fondling fuck as you,” he gasps, having not breathed the entirety of his spiel and you can't help the swelling of pride in your chest at the job well done.

He places a hand to his heart with one final huff and you raise a brow expectantly, “You done?”

More inhales and exhales, followed by a quiet, “...yeah.”

“Good, now if you'll excuse me I have a book to not enjoy,” you nod curtly, spinning on your heel and marching off, leaving the mutant standing alone in the common area, thinkpan running circles around what just happened and a part of him hoping you down right despise 'Alternia's greatest fiction ever written'.

~ * ~

“I'm telling you dude, there is no way dinosaurs are cooler than robots. Like, what can dinosaurs even do? Can they shoot lasers from their eyes or fire rockets from their mouths? No, of course not because prehistoric reptiles are the lamest shit to have ever existed,” Dave argues, using the T-Rex and Optimus Prime figurines to further demonstrate his point.

Karkat sighs, rubbing the bridge of his nose, “Dave we've been over this three fucking times already, I have no idea what the ever grubbing fuck you're talking about.”

“Come on bro, I literally can't dumb this down any further. This shit is as simple as it gets, dinosaurs plus meteor equals extinction, robots plus meteor on the other hand equals one kick-ass anime. In conclusion, dinosaurs are weak ass bitches and these metal beasts are the next big thing,” the blonde waves the Autobot in the Cancer's face.

The nubby horned troll huffs, shoving the toy away and crossing his arms, “How about instead of bothering everyone with sound receivers who give absolutely no shits about your pointless one-sided babbling you just save us all the trouble of having to reach such an impossible decision on which grub fuck trend is superior and combine the fucking things. Dinosaur Robots or whatever the fuck.”

The Strider stares silently, the figurines held protectively to his chest, his monotone voice layered over betrayal, “How dare you.”

Karkat's response dies on his tongue as you come storming into the room, drawing their attention as you descend upon the startled and slightly terrified Cancer at an alarming speed.

“Wha-” Karkat yelps before he can finish his sentence as you fist his sweater's collar, forcefully yanking him up to meet your glare head on.

Dave's faint 'Holy shit' overlaps with the troll's squeak as you easily dip him, one hand supporting his upper back and the other squeezing his hip firmly, and on instinct he throws his arms around your neck to keep from falling.

And then your lips meet his with such a fierce dominance it throws his thinkpan for a complete loop.

You hold the kiss until eventually he relaxes into it, eyes drifting close as he matches your level of passion, hands sliding to cup your cheeks tentatively.

The moment melts into soft intimacy as you pepper apologetic butterfly pecks to his bruised lips, his cheeks flushing and mouth curling up at the affection. A rumble swells in his throat, tumbling into content purrs when your lips brush his warm cheeks lovingly.

Finally satisfied you pull away, chuckling when Karkat whined at the loss of contact, and smirk at the dazed grin on his usually grumpy face.

Keeping him bent over your knee you say, breathlessly, “I hated it.”

**Author's Note:**

> I believe Karkat is like a wild cat, hissy and difficult at first but once you get him purring he is completely yours. In other words, Karkat is secretly a submissive little bitch that loves affection and I love pairing Karkat with a taller, dominate reader. Headcanon: short Karkat.


End file.
